Hi there! It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I hope you missed me cause I sure have missed you but I’m back and ready to get back on the horse. As you know, I took time away from the blog to figure some things out and gain a better understanding of what I want to do. I’ve been asking this question of myself for a very long time and yet that answer has not changed. I want to be an artist and I want to live my life doing what I love which is creating. I am happiest when I’m creating and I want to build a career for myself that is centered around art and self-expression.
Over the years I’ve written sporadically about myself and where I want to go in life. I have shared self-help content and given you a bit of behind the scenes of my life and interests. When I started this blog 4 years ago, my main objective was to create a space that allowed me to explore my creative side and in the course of things, I uncovered a number of old wounds and unresolved issues that held me back, turning this process of creative exploration into a one of self-discovery. I have always had a creative spirit within me but growing up I never believed in my talent. As a child I felt that only those who were born with natural abilities could be artists. Though I always loved to draw and use my hands to make and build things, I never allowed myself to believe that a career fueled by creativity was an option for me. Worst of all I didn’t see my work as being worthy enough to reach that level. Fear, doubt, anxiety, and a number of other mental health issues have stood in my way making this journey even more difficult. I have compared myself to everyone under the sun and have not been able to break free and just let myself create.
After years of internal struggles and seeing very little progress due to my lack of consistency, I’ve reached a point where I’ve had enough and simply put…I’m tired! I’m tired of hiding and not living up to my full potential. I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not. I’m tired of not recognizing my strengths and not using them to my advantage. I’m tired of being creatively blocked and most importantly, I’m tired of not seeing myself as worthy! The only thing standing in my way of living a creative a life is myself and after years of repeating the same pattern of allowing my fears to get the best of me, it’s time to take a leap of faith and just go for it.
During the time I’ve been away redesigning the blog, self-reflecting and working on myself, it became clear that if things are to change for me, I need to put in ACTION into my creative endeavors. I want to know what life would look like if I no longer hold myself back and I let creative living fuel and energize me. I want to know what life would look like if I took the time to nurture my inner creative and gave it room and space to blossom. I want a life where I unapologetically go after what I want. I have to stop comparing myself to others and stop dumbing down my own self worth. And lastly, I want to build myself up while building up others.
Moving forward, I will start using For Tha Masses in the manner in which it was originally intended; documenting my creative journey and offering meaningful content along the way. I lost sight of what my true intentions were and why I started all of this 4 years ago. I let social media and the pursuit of fame and thoughts of overnight success overwhelm me and cloud my mind and I forgot why I started this in the first place.
It has taken some serious self-building for me to get comfortable enough to get to this point. I know the burden of being creatively blocked is not something I hold alone. My issues are not singular and they are not special. Everyone experiences some of what I go through on some level. For me, I’m simply deciding to take back control of my life and it’s narrative and not everyone has to strength and mindset to do so. I can’t continue to watch life pass me by and live unfulfilled due to lack of confidence and out of fear of the unknown. I can’t continue to not try to actualize my dreams and bring them to fruition.
I vow to put my fears and anxieties on the chopping block and share more of myself with you all. I have a vision for where I want my life to go and after 4 to 5 years of overthinking, over analyzing and doing a whole lot of talking and less doing, it’s time for a change. This journey will not be easy but I plan to use my wellness practices to guide me along the way. I, of course, will share everything I’m learning and everything that’s been helping me keep my head above water to encourage you on your own journey. Thank you everyone for the love and support over the years. Cheers to a new chapter of For Tha Masses!